I’ve been at war with some sleazy Russian hackers for years, and the sneaky Cossack sluts finally toasted my mysql database. Even my backups are shot.
Well done, Ivan the Spammer. I hope all the limp-cock losers to whom you’ve helped sell cheap Indian Viagra knock-offs finally get their dicks hard.
Luckily I have all the original essays saved offline on my computer, and I can import them back into my blog, but I’ve decided to start anew and not only redesign my blog, but also take it in a different direction.
So thank you, you slimy Russian hacker pricks.